Are Cages Bad?
by Lover of Angelus
Summary: There are some acts that should never be committed and some lines that should never be crossed.
1. Come and Visit

**Title** : Are Cages Bad?

**Disclaimer **: Me no own, You no sue. Me break the taboo, You lick the monkey Abu.

**Warnings **: Wincest

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**Chapter One** : Come and Visit

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Why did he leave? Was I just not good enough?

_Please_.

There are some things that should not be controlled, some things that you shouldn't stick in a cage. Because you never know when the thing will break out, and it will be the one to laugh as it rips you apart limb from bloody limb.

_I have to go my own way and do my own thing. I can't stay here._

There are some acts that should never be committed; some lines that should never, ever be crossed because you never know when it'll come back to bite you in the ass.

_**I'm sorry, whatever it was that I said or did, I'm sorry. Do you hear me! I'm sorry!**_

_You have to let me go and be on my own. I love you, more than anything in this world, but it's because I love you that I have to leave. I can't stay here, I have to know what else is out there. I'm sorry, Sam._

There are times when you believe you're down, that you've hit rock bottom, those are the times you should be thankful for. Because at least then you still have the ability to think beyond it. You still have the right to breathe, even if you believe that you're alone, you're never alone so long as you keep your sanity and wits about you.

_I'll break if you leave me now. I'll break if you leave me alone._

Try, with every fiber of your being, try to relive the peaceful memories. Live every day like it is your last. And visit the graves of those who you've outlived, and thank them for allowing you to breathe.

_Come and visit me sometime, yeah?_

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	2. Up to Date with the Rest of the World

**Title** : Are Cages Bad?

**Disclaimer **: Me no own, You no sue. Me break the taboo, You lick the monkey Abu.

**Warnings **: Wincest, language

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**Chapter Two **: Up to Date with the Rest of the World

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He's here. He's here. He's here and there's nothing that can tear him away. But then he sees his brother's face between the bushes and then he blinks and it's gone. He's jolted by the reminder that he's not who he wants to be and that these people who surround him and flock to him know absolutely nothing about who he is and what he's done. However, not even that fact can shake the resolution that has so firmly planted itself so deep in his gut. He hates to lose, hates it so much that he'd given up everything that he loved just to be here. Well, one thing that he loved, but that one thing was his everything so he can confidently say that yes, he gave up everything to go to college. He's here. He's here. He's here and he wishes that _he_ was here also.

-

Jessica asks if he has any family and he says that he's not sure anymore. He doesn't say anymore and she swears she saw tears in his eyes.

-

The first time she saw Dean naked, she was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of scars all over his body. Not a single stretch of skin went without it's own scar. She asks about them and he says that they're not scars, but medals, medals from a past that he doesn't want to share

She spends hours tracing them and asking about each story, he just watches her with a smirk on his face, never once opening his mouth to answer.

He doesn't tell her about his dirty rotten past, about the things that he's shot and killed, he doesn't tell her about the demons he exercised or the mother that died or the father that keeps leaving or the brother he's fucked.

-

Jessica asks if there is anything serious he's hiding and he just looks at her, hazel eyes pleading her that he doesn't have to answer that question. He looks down at his feet and wants to give in, just to tell her everything. She walks over to him and pulls him close whispering quiet promises of always loving him and always being there and nothing can scare her away.

"You'll think I'm crazy," he says, pulling himself away. "You'll leave and never even look back."

"I won't, please, Dean," she looks him in the eye and begs silently. He leans in and kisses her softly, then he pulls away and tells his tale, Dean Robertson turns into Dean Winchester.

He tells Jessica just about everything. About his brother, about his father, about his mother. About the hunt, about the monsters that he's tried to escape but will more than likely return to someday. About learning how to fire a crossbow instead of how to throw a football, about learning about Wendigos and poltergeists and vengeful spirits and how to kill each of them because they each have their own strengths and weaknesses.

He doesn't tell Jessica that he enjoyed the hunt, didn't tell Jessica that despite the fact that he loves her, he loves his brother even more and she could never change that. He doesn't tell her that he's fucked the said brother more than the total amount of days he's lived on this earth. He doesn't tell her that if his brother showed up right now he would leave with him without a second thought.

He doesn't tell her that he meets up with his brother once or twice a year to just fuck and fuck and blow each other and then fuck some more. He doesn't think of it as cheating, Sam was there first and if anything, by being with her he's cheating on Sam. He's always taken care of Sam, and that'll never change so long as his heart still beats within his chest and part of taking care of Sam is making sure that he stays sane. Dean know that in order to do this, Sam needs a release and no fifty dollar whore, male or female, would be able to do it for him.

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He's here. He's here. He's here and sometimes wishes he wasn't 'cause then he could be with Sam all the time instead of whenever Sam was in the area. He begins to feel the Hunt called to his blood again and he slowly starts to chip away at him and Jess's relationship. He tells her that he'll be going soon, going back to the life that he once led. She sits there and listens, crying, but still listening. He tells her to give him a call if she ever needs anything, anything at all, if she ever feels threatened by anything, call him up and he'll be here within two days.

Jessica asks if this is about his brother. Dean hesitates but decides that since he's been truthful this far he might as well not stop now, and then he lies. He says that no, it's not about his brother, it's about his father. _A father_, his mind accuses him, _that's been dead for over a year_. However, Jess doesn't know that 'cause he never told her, never told anyone after Sammy delivered the news… he never wanted to believe it.

-

The first and last time Dean walked away from Jessica she saw him to the car and kissed him long and softly, silently begging him to change his mind and come back inside. But a part of her knew that this was where he belonged and no one could change that.

Dean takes over driving the Impala and things begin to settle back down into how they used to be, and Sam's new scars are never discussed.

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When Dean hears about Jessica's death at the hands of a serial murderer that the police have been after since forever ago, he and Sam step up. The hunt lasts two days before they find the man and Dean cuts off his head, puts it in Wal-Mart plastic bag and then delivers it to the station. The police have no idea what was going on and the note only confused them more_: Bastard fucked with the wrong girl._

Sam and Dean watched the news later that evening with somber faces and Sam held his brother as Dean sat quietly,refusing to shout and beg and ask why. Tears silently fall anyway but Dean doesn't acknowledge them and Sam feels no need to point them out.

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End file.
